she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
