dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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