at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
