It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize