I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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