Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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