I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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