He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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