she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
