Just cropdusted the office
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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