she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Operation Purity has been aborted
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We need a shit load of segways right now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
