Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
