new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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