Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize