he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
