how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
