My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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