70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
