I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize