i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize