why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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