at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
