It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
