Are we in a gay sports bar?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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