He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
