I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
