gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
