on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
