oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
