YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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