Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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