I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
