I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
did you just send me my own nude
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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