This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize