oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
