Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize