i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
