I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
