Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
