I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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