Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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