Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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