she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
