I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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