I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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