you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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