did you get engaged???
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
