I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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