so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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