you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
