If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Please don't give away my fajitas
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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