Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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