Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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