thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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