now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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