no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
