To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You may now shotgun with the bride
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
