Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize