I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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