Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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