our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
