why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize