i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
