if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
