i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
