need another drink. this is the easiest way
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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