put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Buhtt sex?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
