Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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